I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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