then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
