I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
