Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize