How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
