He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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