Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
