I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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