Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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