The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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