i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
