people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We are two peas in an std pod
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize