After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
