I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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