I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
