I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
These tits shall not be calmed
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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