i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
