my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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