its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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