He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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