I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
