They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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