i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
