Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
