saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
