i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
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Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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