do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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