is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
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