just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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