your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize