I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
