Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
