I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
