party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
my liver is dry heaving
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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