I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
