I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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