i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
