WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
