Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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