Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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