My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
