I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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