Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
