I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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