im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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