fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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