did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize