Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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