PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I could make wine with my vomit
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize