these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
