You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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