But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
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