Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
