Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We just shotgunned beers for America
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
