dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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