vagina is talking i cant
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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