You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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