okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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