It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
