O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
