i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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