Got a toothbrush?
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
