im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
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