I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize