you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
