How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
